my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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