I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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