For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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