well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Farmville is her only friend.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
