You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
