pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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