In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
