The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
