dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
