you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
