How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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