guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
