Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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