At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
