She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
