I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
