dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
