Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
3 2 1 whiskey
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
