it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
