Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
