do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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