I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
