I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
