I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
