but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
