You can't motorboat a personality
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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