id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
