She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
