YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
