i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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