sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i think i just lost a toe
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
