I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
