Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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