News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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