Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So vagazzling was a success
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
