Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
