well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
