I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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