Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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