just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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