I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
