To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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