My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
