they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
