After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
