Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
