the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
