who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
