the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
