i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
